Thursday, October 20, 2011
LSD is good for you... initially...
Acid can make wonderful things happen in your mind. And even if it all goes wrong for you and it turns into a frightening experience, if you have the backbone you'll see it through, and you will be able to conceptualize things more effectively. New synapses will have formed and suddenly you're thinking things you've never thought before. It's like steroids for your brain. You'll only crack up if you're a pussy, and every time after that, you'll know how to control the trip better. Get some LSD and do some mental power squats. You'll be glad you did.
You Will Never Be as Manly as Oliver Reed
(that goes double for you women)
Oliver Reed
(is manlier than you)
(is manlier than you)
Ollie as Oliver!'s Bill Sikes. What a scamp!
Oliver Reed was one of the last great real men of cinema and the stuff of folk legend. He was basically the origin of all post-wild west tough-guy clechés. Oliver Reed was the gnarliest honest-to-god-bad-ass ever to portray a bad-ass on screen. Just look at this guy... he looks like Mr.Hyde. He looks like a guy that'll sick the hounds on you. Plus he's got all kinds of street cred from beating up hundreds of strangers in bar fights around the globe. He had knife scars on his face from fights HE WON! He's been stabbed, sucker-punched and clubbed and yet, he always managed to clean the floor with the sorry scoundrel that met his prehistoric gaze. He drank prodigious amounts of booze. Swore. Spat. And was generally the epicenter of a small wandering tornado that obliterated douchbags.
A rare non-menacing pose.
"I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth."
(Oliver Reed, paraphrased)
Ollie fondly reminiscing of the time he drank a case of beer, a magnum of wine, a gallon of scotch, beat 25 men at arm wrestling, squeezed 42 pairs of tits, ate an entire side of beef, smoked a box of Cuban cigars, and had sex with everybody.... No wait...he's unconscious in this one... SORRY!
OK, imagine that it's the 60's. You've just been invited to a party up at the spooky mansion by the graveyard across town. The invite was from a "Dr. Acula". You go because it's supposed to be a huge event. On your way up the creaking steps you hear rock-and-roll music but when you listen closely you hear the faint sounds of maniacal laughter, moaning, and chains rattling. You approach the door and use the satanic looking knocker. The door swings open and this is the guy who takes your coat and hat.
He had a great sense of humor and never took himself too seriously. His fingers were like suspension bridge cables. He proudly grew and displayed nearly every possible facial hair combination. It just goes on and on. I can think of no more more worthy a toast that would satisfy the dark forces of the universe that commonly prey on hapless drunks, than to raise one's glass amongst friends gathered around the bar and to roar "To Oliver Reed"
This is about as tough as any man could ever look whilst sitting in a restaurant booth.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Internet stencil patterns of dissent
(that will only be used ironically)
We need to use these things instead of just look at them.
Spread the dissent! I think it's a real shame that by the time most people actually figure out what it is they should be "rebelling" against, the CON has already broken down their spirit to the point they wouldn't dare do anything that could land them in jail.
When I was young enough to be pretty much free of real consequences, I thought that opposing authority was nothing more than a sort of traditional function of youth and that it was ultimately for nothing. Only hollow actions in order to look cool. I think that's what allot of these kids think too. They think war is wrong only because it IS war. That anarchy really does mean chaos. That "fascist" means Nazi. That "the man" is just some guy that cramps their style. It's really so much more complicated than that... and it's amazing that even when we DO hate the things we're supposed to hate, it's for the wrong (and most benign) reasons.
Spread the dissent! I think it's a real shame that by the time most people actually figure out what it is they should be "rebelling" against, the CON has already broken down their spirit to the point they wouldn't dare do anything that could land them in jail.
When I was young enough to be pretty much free of real consequences, I thought that opposing authority was nothing more than a sort of traditional function of youth and that it was ultimately for nothing. Only hollow actions in order to look cool. I think that's what allot of these kids think too. They think war is wrong only because it IS war. That anarchy really does mean chaos. That "fascist" means Nazi. That "the man" is just some guy that cramps their style. It's really so much more complicated than that... and it's amazing that even when we DO hate the things we're supposed to hate, it's for the wrong (and most benign) reasons.
Handy DIY for the simple farmer
http://www.urbangrower.com/
This guy sounds like Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys. Seems like good advice too. I gots to get me some glaucoma. Either that or WE gots to start a revolution, because I'm beginning to notice that a very large percentage of the people I encounter don't have any problem with legalizing MJ. So what I guess I'm asking here is why aren't those opinions heard or taken seriously. Have we "progressed" to the point where hypocrisy is actually expected of us? Or does this merely reflect how the desires of the public at large are not at all represented by our respective governments? I know one thing, apathy is a greater enemy to freedom than any totalitarian regime could ever be.
Friday, April 03, 2009
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